Global Warming Guacamole Panic

It looks like Chipotle’s heavy-handed food-politics propaganda is starting to backfire.

The chain’s three-minute animated video, which pretentiously implied that Chipotle was saving the world from processed-food-dominated dystopia one taco at a time, was slammed as one of 2013’s worst ads by a panel of ad-industry insiders.

Their new TV series “Farmed and Dangerous” has ticked off farmers.

Then, this week, word got out that the company’s annual report said that the decreasing supply of avocados, driven in part by climate change, could force it to stop selling guacamole.

When you start messing with people’s guac, there will be panic – at least on Twitter. Enough so that Chipotle has had to reassure the burrito-loving public that its famous guac isn’t being pulled from the menu.

As much as some folks love their somewhat-pricey guac, do they think people are going to stopping driving their cars to save it?

Or maybe this is just a plot to sell more guac. I like Chipotle’s food but I wish they’d focus on green food like guacamole and stop pushing green politics so aggressively.

If You Like Your Trans Fats, You Can't Keep Them

Trans fats are back in the news with a vengeance.

I didn't go back and research this, but remember how a few years everyone (or the media, at least) was freaking out about trans fats, and then a bunch of restaurants & companies said, ‘Hey, we took all of the trans fats out of our foods,’ implying that their foods were now good for you, but it turned out they were still unhealthy? It seemed like the most of the public panic about trans fats dissipated after that episode.

Obviously trans fats should be avoided or eaten in moderation but getting rid of them is not the key to a healthy lifestyle.

But this week the FDA announced that it plans to seriously limit the amount of trans fats allowed in foods. Banning trans fats would change the essential yummy goodness of foods like doughnuts, popcorn, cake frosting and Doughboy-type products.

Obnoxiously, USA Today tried to hypnotize readers into thinking that they don’t really care if trans fats are banned; as their headline puts it, 'Trans Fat Doesn't Stir Much Nanny State Debate.' See, nobody really cares if trans fats are banned … but, oh, what’s this: a Pew Research poll finds that 52% of Americans are against banning trans fats (breaking down to a clear majority among Republicans and a slight majority among Democrats).

Don’t be fooled into thinking that most people don’t care if certain foods are banned; it’s just not the biggest problem on their minds. Right now, millions of Americans are more worried about losing the healthcare plans that they were promised they could keep.

Here's Pat and Stu's take on the whole situation: 

Will This 'Satisfry' the Tater Haters?

Burger King continues to experiment with its menu. Their latest dish is a new kind of French fry that's a little healthier than regular fries.

From USA Today: "In a move destined to shake up the fast-food industry, Burger King Tuesday will unveil a simple but startling french fry innovation: french fries with 30% less fat and 20% fewer calories than BK's current fries. (And 40% less fat and 30% fewer calories than McDonald's fries.)

BK's crinkly, new fries for your healthy-ish lifestyle.

"They've dubbed the new product Satisfries — not to replace BK's classic fries, but to be sold in addition to them."

An order of these fries will cost about 20 cents more for about 20% fewer calories than an order of normal fries. Time will tell if customers think it's worth it. The presumption behind the coverage anytime that a fast-food chain comes out with a healthier-alternative product like this is that consumers are demanding better-for-you choices. I believe that consumers say they want to eat healthier, but McDonald's has so far found that their customers aren't necessarily buying the healthier stuff. Surprise, surprise: most people actually want fast food when they visit a fast food place.

I suspect the real drivers behind all these attempts at healthier fast foods is pressure from the food police and the federal government's new labeling requirements. 

On a side note, I've always wondered why restaurants don't try selling baked fries as a healthier option? Maybe they wouldn't be quick n' crispy enough?

Land of Food Insanity

It's illegal to sell foie gras in California but it's okay to give away those fancy duck livers because of a loophole in the law. So a Bay Area donut shop called Psycho Donuts celebrated National Donut Day recently with free foie gras-filled donuts. 

That led to death threats from animal-rights extremists, who are the real psychos. Psycho Donuts went ahead with the donut giveaway, but there had to be police on-site to keep the peace.

Only in California. 

(Hat tip: The Alton Browncast)

Delivery Drones

Over in the UK, Domino's Pizza is reportedly testing a new way to deliver pizza: with drones.

"That's great for the folks across the pond, but drones are a far touchier subject here in the States," says an article on MSN Money. "Mounting criticism of drone strikes abroad, especially strikes targeting Americans, forced President Barack Obama to discuss the drone program at length and vow to reduce it. Understandably, critics aren't ready to take him or the military at their word ..."

Given the Obama Administration's fondness for using drones, I think it wouldn't be long before the government was spying on our pizza toppings. Or they could send a drone to assassinate you and disguise it as a harmless pizza drone. Hopefully drone delivery won't be instituted in the U.S. because it's just another White House scandal waiting to happen.

OK Krispy Kreme, You Can Top This

After years of mostly marketing its coffee, Dunkin' Donuts is raising its original game by taking its new donut, bacon & egg sandwich nationwide. 

The media have treated it as the latest freak fast-food sandwich. Businessweek says it doesn't taste as weird as it sounds, which makes sense because it's basically the same flavor concept as the McGriddle. 

Needless to say, the emergence of this new DD sandwich is not welcome news for the food police, who have been telling us that American customers demand healthy fast-food offerings so therefore the restaurant industry should just do what they say. If that were true, then why did McDonald's just report that they're focusing on meat products again because their salad sales are slow?

06/10 Update: A Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe has been sighted at a fair in San Diego. Gawker speculates: "Perhaps Kripsy Kreme aficionados felt the need to step up their game after Dunkin' Donuts tried to end us all with the Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich." Yes, I think that's what happened, and I say bring on the donut-sandwich war!