Fast Food President Picks Fast Food Labor Secretary

Trump has picked Andy Puzder, the CEO of Carl's Jr. and Hardees to be Labor Secretary in his administration. The Left is freaking out. Not only is he a fast food exec, he has been a vocal opponent of the Fight For $15 labor

movement among fast food workers. And culturally he has caught flack about using risqué ad campaigns featuring swimsuit models and Kim Kardashian types. He sounds like Trump's kind of guy in many ways.

The Fast Food President

The imminent Trump presidency has the left freaking out on many fronts. The President-Elect is perceived by many Americans as politically incorrect, racist, sexist, greedy, gauche, tacky, and basically uncool. And his food crimes are a source of much triggering as well. Trump, you see, is a fan of fast food, junk food, diner food, and other non-healthy edibles. He used photos of himself scarfing on McDonald’s, KFC, and taco bowls as part of his campaign. His complexion has even been compared to the orange hue of Cheetos.

Unsurprisingly, the mainstream press has tut-tutted over Trump’s dietary habits. From The New York Times’ take: “In an era of gourmet dining and obsession with healthy ingredients, Mr. Trump is a throwback to an earlier, more carefree time in American eating, when nobody bothered to ask whether the tomatoes were locally grown, and the first lady certainly didn’t have a vegetable garden, complete with a bee hive, on the South Lawn of the White House … Mr. Trump’s diet also telegraphs to his blue-collar base that he is one of them.”

But it’s not just that Trump is setting a bad personal example. Food activists think that the nation’s food policy is now at stake.

"The president-elect said little about food policy on the campaign trail, but there’s plenty of reason to believe he will roll back some of the most ineffective policies and stop bad ones from advancing on his watch. The culinary elites were hoping to use food issues to promote their overall agenda of higher taxes and more regulations under a Clinton administration; that agenda is now toast,” writes Julie Kelly in National Review.

The salad days of the Obama Administration are over. GMO labeling and Michelle Obama’s school lunch act are in peril. But liberal foodies can take some comfort in knowing that the White House Garden will be preserved as a permanent feature of the White House grounds. With Obamacare on the chopping block, the garden may be the only part of Obama’s legacy that Trump leaves standing.

Food Nanny-in-Chief?

Several news outlets are reporting that Michael Bloomberg, the billionaire who declared war on salt and Big Gulps when he was mayor of NYC, is considering a late entry into the already cray-cray 2016 presidential race. Which, if true, would not bode well for the cause of food freedom.

Chipotle Be Like: GMOs GTFO. The FDA Says: Meh.

Today, Chipotle (Hillary's new favorite burrito place) loudly and proudly announced that they shall no more serve genetically modified foods. Because those are terrible for you, right?

Maybe not so much ...

GMOs in foods have been a controversial topic for years, and even the FDA refuses to take an official stance. “While FDA regulates foods and ingredients, including foods made from genetically-engineered plants, the agency neither supports genetically-engineered plants based on their perceived benefits nor opposes them based on their perceived risks,” the agency says on its website.

But the head of the Food and Drug Administration’s food safety center has said the agency found no basis that GMOs pose any different safety concerns than foods developed by traditional plant breeding.

Read more on Yahoo Health, and sarcastic tweets at Twitchy.

No One Has Ever Loved a Little Caesars Pizza More Than This Man.

Like millions before me, I've discovered Daym Drops and his Super Official food reviews on YouTube. No wonder he's become a huge internet star: it's a joy watching this guy react to fast food, which he usually eats inside his car, as one should. In this video, he crosses paths with Little Caesars' provocative new bacon-wrapped pizza. Enjoy.

Breakfast Shaming

Are you ashamed of eating normal breakfast foods when you please? No, of course not, because you are a normal person (albeit one with exceptional taste in blogs). But the food police aren’t normal down-to-earth folks like you and me.

When golfer Bubba Watson won the Masters, he decided to enjoy a Victory meal at good ol’ Waffle House and tweeted a picture about it. A nutritionist then went on Fox News and criticized Watson for setting a bad example by eating there, which set off a chain reaction of waffle-shaming by food-shaming types.

Some normal people might look at this and see a top athlete who is keeping it real by going to a normal-folks restaurant after winning a huge coveted prize – but that kind of humility doesn’t appeal to the elite food-shamers.

Rush Limbaugh made really good points about the larger significance of this seemingly silly incident: “They are not a kooky, small minority.  They're the base of the Democrat Party and they're out there actively stigmatizing … if you don't conform, and apparently the left thinks that eating any food other than what they say, is bad for your kids … Folks, it's not an insignificant thing … The left has really did a bang-up job of creating an army of like-minded genuine idiots to whom this stuff matters, and they are willing to act like a bunch of little junior fascist brownshirts running around trying to interrupt people's freedom, freedom of choice, what have you.”

“You've got Michelle Obama basically doing the same thing.  When you've got the First Lady of the country setting this example, and you've got people following it, don't make the mistake I made 20 years ago and think it's fringe and never gonna amount to anything.  Because now it has come to amount to things.”

It’s funny that Rush mentioned Michelle Obama, because she was targeted by the food cops next, despite being on their side, rhetoric-wise. PETA tried to shame the First Lady for using real eggs in the White House Easter Egg Roll. Of course if she’d used candy eggs, they would have called her out for encouraging kids to eat candy on Easter (imagine that). This stupid stunt puts me in the uncomfortable position of feeling some sympathy for Michelle Obama, which tells me that things are really getting out of hand.

Global Warming Guacamole Panic

It looks like Chipotle’s heavy-handed food-politics propaganda is starting to backfire.

The chain’s three-minute animated video, which pretentiously implied that Chipotle was saving the world from processed-food-dominated dystopia one taco at a time, was slammed as one of 2013’s worst ads by a panel of ad-industry insiders.

Their new TV series “Farmed and Dangerous” has ticked off farmers.

Then, this week, word got out that the company’s annual report said that the decreasing supply of avocados, driven in part by climate change, could force it to stop selling guacamole.

When you start messing with people’s guac, there will be panic – at least on Twitter. Enough so that Chipotle has had to reassure the burrito-loving public that its famous guac isn’t being pulled from the menu.

As much as some folks love their somewhat-pricey guac, do they think people are going to stopping driving their cars to save it?

Or maybe this is just a plot to sell more guac. I like Chipotle’s food but I wish they’d focus on green food like guacamole and stop pushing green politics so aggressively.

If You Like Your Trans Fats, You Can't Keep Them

Trans fats are back in the news with a vengeance.

I didn't go back and research this, but remember how a few years everyone (or the media, at least) was freaking out about trans fats, and then a bunch of restaurants & companies said, ‘Hey, we took all of the trans fats out of our foods,’ implying that their foods were now good for you, but it turned out they were still unhealthy? It seemed like the most of the public panic about trans fats dissipated after that episode.

Obviously trans fats should be avoided or eaten in moderation but getting rid of them is not the key to a healthy lifestyle.

But this week the FDA announced that it plans to seriously limit the amount of trans fats allowed in foods. Banning trans fats would change the essential yummy goodness of foods like doughnuts, popcorn, cake frosting and Doughboy-type products.

Obnoxiously, USA Today tried to hypnotize readers into thinking that they don’t really care if trans fats are banned; as their headline puts it, 'Trans Fat Doesn't Stir Much Nanny State Debate.' See, nobody really cares if trans fats are banned … but, oh, what’s this: a Pew Research poll finds that 52% of Americans are against banning trans fats (breaking down to a clear majority among Republicans and a slight majority among Democrats).

Don’t be fooled into thinking that most people don’t care if certain foods are banned; it’s just not the biggest problem on their minds. Right now, millions of Americans are more worried about losing the healthcare plans that they were promised they could keep.

Here's Pat and Stu's take on the whole situation: 

Will This 'Satisfry' the Tater Haters?

Burger King continues to experiment with its menu. Their latest dish is a new kind of French fry that's a little healthier than regular fries.

From USA Today: "In a move destined to shake up the fast-food industry, Burger King Tuesday will unveil a simple but startling french fry innovation: french fries with 30% less fat and 20% fewer calories than BK's current fries. (And 40% less fat and 30% fewer calories than McDonald's fries.)

BK's crinkly, new fries for your healthy-ish lifestyle.

"They've dubbed the new product Satisfries — not to replace BK's classic fries, but to be sold in addition to them."

An order of these fries will cost about 20 cents more for about 20% fewer calories than an order of normal fries. Time will tell if customers think it's worth it. The presumption behind the coverage anytime that a fast-food chain comes out with a healthier-alternative product like this is that consumers are demanding better-for-you choices. I believe that consumers say they want to eat healthier, but McDonald's has so far found that their customers aren't necessarily buying the healthier stuff. Surprise, surprise: most people actually want fast food when they visit a fast food place.

I suspect the real drivers behind all these attempts at healthier fast foods is pressure from the food police and the federal government's new labeling requirements. 

On a side note, I've always wondered why restaurants don't try selling baked fries as a healthier option? Maybe they wouldn't be quick n' crispy enough?

Land of Food Insanity

It's illegal to sell foie gras in California but it's okay to give away those fancy duck livers because of a loophole in the law. So a Bay Area donut shop called Psycho Donuts celebrated National Donut Day recently with free foie gras-filled donuts. 

That led to death threats from animal-rights extremists, who are the real psychos. Psycho Donuts went ahead with the donut giveaway, but there had to be police on-site to keep the peace.

Only in California. 

(Hat tip: The Alton Browncast)

Delivery Drones

Over in the UK, Domino's Pizza is reportedly testing a new way to deliver pizza: with drones.

"That's great for the folks across the pond, but drones are a far touchier subject here in the States," says an article on MSN Money. "Mounting criticism of drone strikes abroad, especially strikes targeting Americans, forced President Barack Obama to discuss the drone program at length and vow to reduce it. Understandably, critics aren't ready to take him or the military at their word ..."

Given the Obama Administration's fondness for using drones, I think it wouldn't be long before the government was spying on our pizza toppings. Or they could send a drone to assassinate you and disguise it as a harmless pizza drone. Hopefully drone delivery won't be instituted in the U.S. because it's just another White House scandal waiting to happen.

OK Krispy Kreme, You Can Top This

After years of mostly marketing its coffee, Dunkin' Donuts is raising its original game by taking its new donut, bacon & egg sandwich nationwide. 

The media have treated it as the latest freak fast-food sandwich. Businessweek says it doesn't taste as weird as it sounds, which makes sense because it's basically the same flavor concept as the McGriddle. 

Needless to say, the emergence of this new DD sandwich is not welcome news for the food police, who have been telling us that American customers demand healthy fast-food offerings so therefore the restaurant industry should just do what they say. If that were true, then why did McDonald's just report that they're focusing on meat products again because their salad sales are slow?

06/10 Update: A Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe has been sighted at a fair in San Diego. Gawker speculates: "Perhaps Kripsy Kreme aficionados felt the need to step up their game after Dunkin' Donuts tried to end us all with the Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich." Yes, I think that's what happened, and I say bring on the donut-sandwich war!

So Now It's A War on Juice

Now NYC is cracking down on juice boxes; you know, what those bratty grade-school kids like to drink. 

Bloomberg doesn't just hate Big Gulps, you see, he also hates small gulps. No apple juice allowed in the Big Apple. Welcome to the city that never sips.

I guess if there is any upside to this latest stupid push, it's that he's treating kids like children instead of treating adults like children.

What is a 'Cronut'?

(Photo: zagat.com)

It's a cross between a croissant and a donut that was invented by a French bakery in New York City, so it's probably the next thing that Michael Bloomberg will try to ban.

Season to Taste, Salt Bans Are A Waste

Before he went after 'sugar water,' New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg was trying to regulate how much salt the citizens of the city he governs could eat. His ban on large sodas was blocked on the day before it was supposed to go into effect by a New York Supreme Court judge--and now there comes a scientific setback to his war on salt. The New York Times reports the following: 

No Benefit Seen in Sharp Limits on Salt in Diet

In a report that undercuts years of public health warnings, a prestigious group convened by the government says there is no good reason based on health outcomes for many Americans to drive their sodium consumption down to the very low levels recommended in national dietary guidelines. Blah blah, etc...

But don't worry, these setbacks won't hold back a powerful man like Bloomberg for long. I'm sure he'll find another reason why he and the rest of the food police should be able to tell us what we're allowed to eat.

In related news, one of the oldest people in America says that bacon is a key to longevity.

Stu-ing About Food Deserts

If you regularly read this blog then you know that 1) there is a such thing as "food deserts" in theory, and 2) there is no such thing as "food deserts" in reality. At least not in America. But not everyone reads this blog and therefore still needs to be informed of this big sham. Stu Burguiere, one of Glenn Beck's sidekicks, did a tongue-in-cheek video that investigated a so-called food desert in New York and oddly enough found quite a few accessible food sources.

 

But as a big fan of this blog, you probably saw that ending coming.

Coming This Summer: Twinkies

Twinkies are reportedly coming back in July, and this is only bad news if you're the food police ... or Little Debbie.

Hostess Brands Inc. sold Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos and other brands to two private investment firms back in April. See? Capitalism solved the Twinkie disaster where government failed.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/04/24/3362179/twinkies-are-back-hostess-plant.html#storylink=cpy

If There Are Two Things ...

...the nanny state hates, it's fast food and private transportation. I like how this genius Japanese invention, the car fry-holder, combines them.

Domino's Effect

Papa John's isn't the only pizza chain speaking out about Obamacare. Domino's Pizza has told the press that Obamacare's calorie-listing requirement is creating unique problems for their business. In his email newsletter, blogger Jim Geraghty relayed this message from Steve Burke with the American Pizza Community (APC): "Any day now, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is expected to rule on Section 4205 of The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (i.e., ObamaCare), a one-size-fits-all menu labeling regulation, that requires restaurants, including franchised chains with 20 or more locations, to post calorie and nutritional information for all of their products on in-store menu boards costing locally owned businesses up to $4,000 per year. For a company like Domino's, a company that already posts an online calorie calculator, that means in store menu boards for all of its 34 million pizza combinations. Additionally, ninety percent of their customers, who get their food delivered, will never step foot inside the store to see the signs. For some supermarkets it could mean providing calorie information for every combination of cakes and pies (assuming the store has a bakery) as well as every combination that can be put together at a salad bar."

"Whether the bill will hurt sales for items like Domino's 580-calorie MeatZZa Feast Brooklyn Crust Extra Large Slice -- which is one of the most unhealthy slices of pizza in the country, according to The Daily Beast -- is unclear," says an article in the Ann Arbor Press. Actually, the evidence so far is pretty clear that calorie listings on restaurant menus have little or no effect on what customers order.

 

Domino's executives say they want to sit down with the administration to figure out a workable solution—but, as House Speaker John Boehner can tell you, negotiating with this administration can be tough.

Twinkie In A Coalmine

Elections, as they say, have consequences. In the weeks since Obama's reelection, several restaurant chain owners have stated the financial reality that they'll need to cut workers' hours and/or raise prices in order to pay for Obamacare. Predictably, the left-wing media/blogosphere was quick to denounce these restaurateurs as greedy, unpatriotic racists who just want to blame their business woes on Obamacare. Like, don't those fat cats know that the bad economy is still Bush's fault? Obviously, a lot of the leftist loudmouths don't understand how business works and neither does our president.



Apparently, there will be no 'Twinkie bailout' (Shirt/photo from Cafe Press)

Also, as you must've heard by now, Twinkees maker Hostess has gone out of business because union workers decided it they'd rather watch the company go under than take a cut in their pay and benefits. American Spectator contributor Jeffrey Lord wrote that the striking Hostess workers decided they would "rather be dead than Not Liberal. Unfortunately for the rest of us -- they are not alone. Worse, they are in charge." Indeed, too many voters decided they would rather continue our nation's depressing course than be "Not Liberal" and elect a (gasp) successful businessman.

Another consequence of Obama's reelection is the extension and escalation of the war on junk food. At least that's what former Obama advisor Larry Summers suggested: "I think there is no question that the way Americans eat and what Americans weigh is a big contributor to health problems and it’s a big contributor to health costs. It’s not the agenda now"—we still don't know what Obama's second-term agenda is and I suspect that Obama doesn't know either—"but I think at some point you’re going to see tax measures and regulatory measures that are going to be directed at helping people be healthier. That’s just going to happen and I think it’s probably a good thing when it does."
 

So it looks like Twinkies killed themselves off before the administration could rub them out. And once Michelle Obama is done with her holiday treat binge, she'll no doubt be back to harping about the dangers of food deserts and cafeteria food. Ah, four more years …